Heartbreaks and Headaches

I said goodbye today.

Saying goodbye is sometimes an awkward experience for me. I'm sure you are all familiar with the tearful farewells filled with deep sorrow. I recently experienced one of those when leaving Illinois - as healthy as it is, it isn't something you try to recreate everyday. Leaving my own family this morning was another of the awkward experiences however.

Despite the obvious hurt that comes with a parting of ways, I am always filled with the desire to be the strength for my family. It is all a lie! Watching my wife fight back the tears, probably because she too wants to be strong for the children, is a gut wrenching experience. I held her. Looking at my daughter's desperate eyes, I can see she knows the imminent separation is at hand. I smile, make a joke, and hide the pain. My son seems to wear the impregnable attitude of a teenager with ease, but I know that may be what I miss the most about him. We both smile. I lied by not wearing my sadness with honor. For the record, my heart broke this morning and I hate it.

As if I needed something to keep my mind occupied, I was quickly re-introduced to the adventures of deploying. For my non-military family and friends, deploying is like watching "Alice in Wonderland" - anything is possible. This deployment began with the cancellation of prior deployments, required training, and multiple date changes.

The hits didn't stop there, however, because today my guns didn't make one of my connecting flights. This caused a lengthy stay at the terminal waiting for the next flight, just a "few" hours later (baggage claim people speak in a weird time language). The airline was more than gracious with their $7 dinner comp, which almost covered half my dinner at the only open restaurant.

Not to be outdone, the military flight planners had overbooked my flight out in the morning. I was told I could keep "one bag of importance" and the others would "find me" (military airport workers speak in a weird "we act like we care" language). After trying to condense my two bags into one and saying the inevitable goodbye to the bag that I don't believe I will ever see again, I finally made it to the hotel. Staying in the hotel is, in itself, an adventure because it's time away from family that seems completely unnecessary.

Instead of grieving, I thought I would use my blog as a therapeutic tool. I fear this may happen frequently over my time away, so be prepared for the occasional vent, rant, whine, complaint, who knows - I might even say something nice every now and then. Stay tuned to see how the other flights and convoys that will bring me to my final destination go...I am betting on many more adventures. : )