Acceptance

Afghan culture is obviously different from our own. One aspect that is most readily evident is the affection they show to one another. Seeing two men holding hands does not have the same connotation that it might in the U.S. As part of our cultural training, we were told about some of these differences to make us aware of the meaning behind them but it really is different when the rubber meets the road.

Immediately we saw these affections in the way they greet each other and in their social interactions. As we sit and talk with them it is not uncommon for them to sit almost on each other's lap. Initially I thought part of the reason was because of the small office they use and the lack of space created when four of us Americans come in. Later I saw that their perception of personal space, or their "bubble" as you might call it, is non-existent. While sitting next to each other they will often place their hands on each other's leg, again, something that would have a much different perception in America.

So, I took it as a sign of acceptance when we visited their office the other day and the major casually placed his hand on my leg. Truth be told, after 34 years of upbringing in our world of not entering someones bubble, it came as a surprise to be in such a predicament. I tried to remind myself that it is important, as we are spending time with the Afghans, that we embrace their cultural sensitivities, so I sat calmly - despite the fact that it wasn't exactly within my comfort zone. Later we all talked about it in the office and realized that this will only progress further as we spend more time with them and that it was good to have made such progress so quickly.

I will probably never have to share this behaviour in the U.S. and might never get completely used to the physical aspects of their culture, but I do embrace their trust in us. They have faith in our ability to teach them and they are more than willing to learn in order to stand on their own two feet. If their way of showing us this trust is a simple physical gesture, I can tolerate it in the spirit of our new friendship...even if it is uncomfortable.