A moment of clarity

Yesterday marked our final day of convoy training. While the classroom and rehearsal portion of training weren't exactly riveting, the last two days of hands-on were a lot of fun. Learning how to handle yourself, and if need be - your vehicle, in a convoy is a very worthwhile task if you ask me. In the middle of our exercise, I had a few minutes of sobriety - let me explain.

My role during the exercise was to be the gunner in the rear Humvee. After strapping into the extremely uncomfortable gunner's restraint, I wedged myself into the turret ready to roll. Our mission was simple, drop off some supplies to an Iraqi Police Station. After receiving some other pertinent information and a safety brief, we started to roll out.

Along our route we encountered a vehicle that was on our list as "suspicious." The red truck pulled behind our convoy and I tried to persuade the vehicle to back off. After a couple attempts at maintaining a safe distance, the vehicle dropped the hammer and started closing on our convoy. My decision at this point was easy - safe to semi and fire (military slang for shooting). I was surprised at how quickly I could blow through 30 rounds with my M4. A quick note: No, we do not use our rifles for gunner positions in vehicles - this was just an exercise. Despite my quick response, the exercise required that our vehicle take the hit, so we reacted to the simulated explosion.

An instructor came up to our stopped Humvee and handed me a casualty card with a photo and description of my injuries. Training took over as our crew immediately went into the "gunner down" battle drill. I was pulled from the turret and ended up in the lap of the remaining crew member. Combat life saver training was then put to use as my injuries were assessed and treated. While all of this was happening, the radio chatter was filled with information relating to my injury and a medevac was requested. By now my head had been bandaged, airway secured (simulated because I didn't want that NPA in my nose), and saline-lock established (simulated also because of the instructor input, although I could have used the fluids).

This is where I began to ponder my situation and what the training was meant to prepare us for. The bandage on my head and face had covered me completely - blocking my vision, which left my mind to wander. I thought about the scenario - had I reacted correctly? I thought about our battle drills - were we quick enough? I thought about our communication - had all of the information been passed? My injuries had left me unable to communicate, so aside from the occasional response to ensure the bandage wasn't choking me or cutting off blood flow, I was supposed to sound hurt and eventually go into shock.

I continued to play the role but my mind still wandered. I thought about the injury - what other steps need to be taken? I thought about myself - how would I react to someone laying in my lap? Yes, we've been having fun with some of the training but this is what we were training for - responding to an enemy force. Don't be fooled, however, training is preparing us for the worst of what will happen when we struggle to do our best.

Arriving at the landing zone brought my mind out of it's pondering state and I was pulled to a simulated helicopter. Unfortunately, I missed out on the rest of the exercise but learned that our convoy had done well overall. Despite my small, mental glimpse of reality, I enjoyed the training and appreciated our instructor's efforts at preparing us for deployment.

On a separate note, we've finally reached week five of training. I would complain about the fact that I haven't had a day off yet but it has brought me through all of this training very quickly. I am extremely excited to have a "pass" for half the day Friday and even more excited to get on a plane Saturday morning.